THERE’S A POINT IN EVERY SEASON WHEN THE PRESSURE REALLY HITS.
It’s a big day.
And even though you’re telling your team to approach it the same as usual…
Your heart rate can’t lie.
There’s more riding on this than just the outcome. Today you find out if the grind is going to pan out (or not).
You start to wonder,
"Is today gonna pan out like it should?"
Then your boss shows up.
Mostly as a show of support. But also to see what you’re like under pressure.
Judging your ability to handle it and lead your team to victory. Or at the very least to a competitive outing.
It’s a lot of responsibility. And it’s stressful.
So the next question you ask yourself is:
HAVEÂ IÂ DONE EVERYTHINGÂ I CAN TO PREPARE THEM?
Great coaches have to ask themselves that.
Otherwise we’d get complacent and not do everything possible for our team.
Where coaches tend to get stuck is much more personal:
IF I CAN'T GET THEM TO COMPETE NOW, WILL I EVER?
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
GOOD COACHES
& THE GREATS
In nearly two decades of coaching, from DI to youth – and in 9 years working with and studying Hall of Fame coaches down to first-timers – I learned what separates the best from the rest.
It's not the wins.
It's their ability to handle pressure.
Pressure when...
The game is on the line & it all comes down to a freshman stepping up.
Pressure when...
Your best player just left the game with a serious injury and their backup isn't ready.
Pressure when...
You KNOW the other team is stronger but your season is riding on this.
In those moments, most coaches try to control whatever they can to help ensure success.
Whether it’s through barking orders, making changes and micromanaging, we’ve all been there.
But it’s not the most effective tactic.
Good coaches do their best to manage the situation.Â
GREAT COACHES DO THEIR BEST TO MANAGE THEMSELVES.
WHAT THE
RESEARCH CONFIRMS
101 Studies
1000s of Elite Coaches
Biggest risk =
Lacking self-awareness under pressure
A 2025 systematic review of 101 studies on elite sports coaches found that the coaches most at risk aren't the ones lacking skill.
They're the ones who fail to see that pressure is affecting their leadership:
Feeling anxious about the upcoming competition and trying to control everything and everyone.
Getting so emotionally exhausted from trying to control they become quiet and low energy.
Snapping at your people because your fuse is short and you don’t know why.Â
These aren't flaws. They're patterns. And they're actually common. The real unlock is understanding.
We as humans come wired with threat responses:
fight - flight - freeze - fawn.
In coaching, they show up as patterns of behavior:
Trying to Control the situation
Avoiding the tough calls & hard convos
Suffering from Paralysis by (over)analysis
Avoiding conflict by people-Pleasing
Nobody is immune to these patterns.
The same research showed that coaches who understood their own stress responses performed much better too.
They stayed confident, communicated clearly, and led in a way that allowed their athletes to thrive.Â
THE COMPETITIVE COACH BLUEPRINT CALL HELPS YOU DO JUST THAT
You'll start by identifying your PRP, then we'll discuss how that's affecting your team and your goals.
By the end of the call, you'll walk away with a personalized, practical blueprint to shift you from leading reactively...
To leading intentionally.
STRONGERÂ LEADERSHIP
IN 3Â SIMPLE STEPS
Step 1
Book your $97
Competitive Coach Blueprint call
Step 2Â
Complete the pre-call
PRP Assessment
Step 3
Work with me to create your
customized, printable BlueprintÂ
Â
So you catch yourself in a pattern and leave that performanceÂ
CERTAIN THAT YOU GAVE YOUR BEST FOR YOUR TEAM TODAY
(Optional) Step 4
For coaches who want to make this new habit permanent, there’s further support for that!
PRESSURE WASN’T
THE PROBLEM.
MY RESPONSE WAS.
I've spent years studying Pressure Response Patterns and I've lived every one of them.
Different seasons. Different teams. Different versions of me. But the same pressure & the same sneaky slide into unhelpful patterns.
 As a first-year head coach of a 16U travel team, my default was the Control Pattern
The tighter the game got,
the tighter I got.
I started yelling out instructions, correcting every mistake, and trying to control the uncontrollable.
Until at one point, my assistant coach finally looked at me and said: "CALM DOWN, MEL."
She was right. The pressure wasn't making me a better leader. It was making me trust my players less.
Â
 A year or so later, as a graduate assistant at a Division I program, I swung to the opposite extreme: the Avoidance Pattern
I was surrounded by experienced coaches and convinced myself I had nothing valuable to add.
Even when I saw something that might help, I kept my head down, focused on my stat sheet, and stayed quiet.
The pressure wasn't making me humble. It was making me hide.
Â
Then when I got my first college head coaching position, I met the Paralysis Pattern.
I wanted so badly to prove I deserved the job, I started overthinking everything.
Lineups. Practice plans. Conversations. Decisions.
I spent so much energy trying not to make mistakes that I stopped leading with conviction. The pressure wasn't helping me prepare. It was keeping me stuck.
Â
 And most recently, I discovered the Appeasing Pattern.Â
This pattern was the most
self-sabotaging of all of them
I softened conversations that needed to be direct.
I gave second chances that should have come with accountability.
I tolerated behaviors that didn't align with the culture we were trying to build.
Not because I didn't know better. Because I didn't want to disappoint people. The pressure wasn't making me compassionate. It was making me avoid discomfort.
Although these patterns still show up from time to time, I've trained myself to recognize them & make better choices.
I stay calm and composed in big moments: which allows them to lock back in.
I show them my belief is unshakable: which prevents the dreaded mistake snowball.
We take momentum back faster, keep it, and win more because of it.Â
Most importantly, my players get the best version of me; not the version being driven by pressure. That's the goal.
NOT PERFECTION.
AWARENESS.
That’s what’s possible for you, too.
Not just a better experience for your team. A better experience for you.
You put so much time and effort into this profession, you deserve to look back on your career with pride and a sense of fulfillment.
Achieving that comes down to who you’re being as a leader.
THE REAL WIN: KEEPING A GREAT COACH IN THE GAME
Staying in these patterns affects more than just that moment.
Eventually, you’ll start doubting they can bounce back…
Then the team will pick up on your lack of belief…
Which makes your program stall and recruiting become even harder…
Then before you know it, you’re not coaching at all – either because you quit from frustration & burnout, or because someone else made that call and let you go.Â
And that would be a shame, because
YOUR ATHLETES DESERVE A COACH WHO CARES THIS MUCH
So make the move, Coach.
For just $97 and in less than an hour, we’ll design your Competitive Coach Blueprint to keep you out of unhelpful patterns and locked into your most powerful, influential leadership.
Your next level is ready for you.
**My Guarantee**
After the call, if you don'tÂ
a) understand how your PRP is holding you back & b) know how to create a better pattern...Â
You’ll get your money back.